Please, stop asking "What do you think?"

[bigpup]

If I ask "what do you think"

I want to know what you think.

That simple.

If you agree, fine.

If you disagree, fine.

If you have other ideas, fine.

Simple question, "What Do You Think"?

Why do some people feel upset, troubled, mad, put-off, disturbed, offended, etc...., when people tell them what they think?

They asked the Question "what do you think"

If you do not want a true answer to the question, do not ask.

I am asking "What do you think"

[starhawk]

I think I have not yet experienced this problem.

However, I also think I have experienced a different problem. I ask people "What do you think" about something, requesting an opinion on something that has not yet occurred (and therefore there is no fact establishing which way it went). Instead of giving me an opinion, they often respond with "I don't know" which only means that they are not certain of the ultimate factual answer, and provides no meaningful response to my actual question.

Example:

Me: "Hey, Mom, it looks like it might rain soon. What do you think?"
Mom: "I don't know..."

What? Cue the error handler, that response does not make sense.

Of course, when I try to explain the issue, the other person gets frustrated and just repeats their prior response. (Not helpful!)

Aargh.

What do you folks think?

[rokytnji]

I Think I am glad I was not on a Frontier Airlines Flight from Dallas To Cleveland recently.

I think Windows XP has the hardest way to fix MBR.

I think I will watch the Simpsons and Futurama Tonight.

I think it is time to walk over to the shop fridge and see how many beers are left in it.

I think I don't think much sometimes.

Edit:

I think I don't think much sometimes.

Holy Cow. I did not know when I posted, this thread was tied into Tuxxs locked thread.

Looks like some dead cats were thrown into the party.

As Usual.

[step]

Contemporary psychological research tells us that, when asked a question, people (their brain) quickly replace the question with one they know how to answer, and answer accordingly. It's an automatic reaction, something we are not generally aware of. If we are made aware, and enter a "less-intuitive, more-reasoned" thinking mode, then we start answering the original question, if we can. So, one way of getting more often the answer you expect is to improve/adapt the question you are asking. It also helps a lot if a discussion around the first answer takes place.

[greengeek]

Me: "Hey, Mom, it looks like it might rain soon. What do you think?"
Mom: "I don't know..."

Yeah, annoying. And a lot of people seem to resist offering an opinion because they want to shut discussion down. Seems like they don't WANT to think. Is thinking too hard?

Sometimes people don't want to volunteer an opinion because they are afraid their opinion will be used against them. I think that's sad. I value robust questioning and robust discussion. It drives progress.

[Galbi]

And a lot of people seem to resist offering an opinion because they want to shut discussion down.

That happens to me often, I have an employee who is too much talkative, seems one of those people that can´t be in silence, so to start a talk, he asks my opinion on something.
With an 'I don´t know' I shut down the talk. After all, I pay him for work, not for Public Relations.

Seems like they don't WANT to think. Is thinking too hard?

Sometimes, is hard to go an collect enough data to have a well founded opinion. At this moment, I don't want to go outside, look at the clouds, feel the wind, etc, and then give you my opinion if it's going to rain or not.

Sometimes people don't want to volunteer an opinion because they are afraid their opinion will be used against them.

Husbands, you mean...

[Flash]

...Sometimes, is hard to go an collect enough data to have a well founded opinion. At this moment, I don't want to go outside, look at the clouds, feel the wind, etc, and then give you my opinion if it's going to rain or not...

This is the problem with telling people to vote (assuming they live in a democracy). Voting is asking people to say what they think, only most voters won't have gone to the trouble to find out anything about the issues, never mind the candidates, who will say anything to get elected anyway. What's a citizen to do?

[gcmartin]

I think, therefore I am. "I dont know" removes existence for the moment.

Edit: "removes"

[mavrothal]

People usually interpret what they see/hear etc based on context, person, implications, consequences etc.
So our perception of who is asking, how is asking, what is asking, why is asking etc, has a huge impact on our response, if any.

[slavvo67]

I'm not really sure about this thread. What do you think? LOL

Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Maybe you can ask people to stop "Being true to something or other." Be true to yourself, I wanted to be true to the food, I wanted to be true to the .... C'mon, really? Let's just lie and call it a day.

[raffy]

I guess this thread was inspired by the discussion of ttuuxxx's English puppy.

Oldtimers here have a tendency to assume that posters know/observe the basic rules here, like.

1. Anyone can start a project;

2. As long as you do not force your project on people, you can happily move forward;

3. To move forward, pay attention to what people say, but don't lose heart if you don't like what they say.

I guess the "what do you think" question starts becoming a problem when the "asker" gets unsupportive feedback in 3.

Some negative feedback happens because some people ignore 1 and 2.

[8-bit]

I seem to recall a community edition of Puppy that had lots of input as to what it should include that slowed the release of it till the administrator of it, WhoDo just went ahead and included what he thought was right.
It took a heavy toll on him with the suggestions that seemed to be more like demands. That took the fun out of Puppy for him and I am still not sure he has recovered fully from it other than not wanting to head any more community editions of Puppy.
This was definitely a case of the title of this thread being negative to the administrator of that community edition!

[neerajkolte]

There is an old Indian (not red indian, Just my India in Asia) saying in Marathi Language....
(I will just type phonetically) " Ekave janache, Karave Manache"

It means you should listen to people, but do what your heart tells you to.

It implies two things..

1) Listen to people --- This is the best way to collect ideas, different perspectives, Many brains are always better than single brain.

2) Do what your heart tells you --- After evaluating what people and you say, Do the thing that your heart feels is right.


The trouble is when we do only one thing. We must do both things to have harmony in your life.

- Neeraj

[step]

"Ekave janache, Karave Manache"

Possibly a good motto for a future puppy project!

[floatbit]

i think the answer is decide by who is asking "what do you think?"

asked by a beggar who sleep by streets
vs
linus or other prominent figures,

the result might be totally different responses.